What Time Is It?

Does everybody know what time it is? TOOL TIME! That’s right, and here is the star of the show: David the “blog writer” Fontana! (cue applause)

I bet you’re wondering why I joined this blog. No? You’re not? Well then, I guess it sucks to suck, because I’m going to tell you anyways. Honestly, I joined because somebody asked me to. I know, “well duh dude.” But more importantly, it was because they asked me to join at the right time. Really, it’s that simple. If I had been asked to write for Audacity Oven on a different day, or even worse, just a minute before or thirty seconds later, I would’ve hesitated. And truthfully, I might have even said, “No, but thanks man.”

That’s a lie. As a writer, a studied diplomat, and a trained actor (you can just add “amateur” before all o those things in your own heads), I would have most likely said, “aww yeah, buddy, that’s sounds awesome. But, everything is really crazy right now, so what’s the commitment like? Would you be willing for me to jump on board in a few months?” I mean, I am pretty busy: I’ve got extra circulars (sleep), work (paid sleep), classes (educational sleep), and friends (which is only sometimes sleep).

Now, someone might ask in the right way, they might ask the right thing, or in the right place, someone might simply ask the right people. But for me, and for this blog, with all of these freshly baked rolls, sprinkled with words, I was asked at the right time. Right in the middle of all of this “life” I was trying to live over here — in peace and quiet, thank you very much — a friend of mine (Eric Baker . . . ever heard of him?) asked me to join. I looked at the clock: one hand pointed in one direction, and the other hand in another (I know, I know, “go analog baby, you’re so post modern”). And, I had to say, yes.

Damn you, buddy. Damn you.

So maybe for you there’s not a time that would make you just say “yes,” like it did for me. But we all live on quirky, superstitious schedules. At 11:11 you make a wish, at 9:11 you give a moment of silence, Midnight is the witching hour, and at 12:34 I just laugh (or as urban dictionary puts it, “only the coolest time ever”).  We all have watches, phone clocks, time pieces in every room, on every monitor. We run on time this fictitious, made up thing, that is truly— if you really try to think about it— inconceivable. But perhaps that’s what makes it so important, too. So what was this special time that made me say “yes” you ask?

Well, what time is it on the moon?

I asked that to a friend once and she responded, “What time is it on the Stars?” Isn’t that just great? You see, she asked the right person, in the right way, with the right thing, and the right place, and in fact, she even asked it at the right time (the same time as Eric, up there). It’s amazing. Nay, that’s damn incredible! And lucky too.

However, unlike Eric, I didn’t answer her. Not really. At least, not yet. But an answer is coming for her, and when it does, she won’t know what hit her.  I’m just counting the seconds, waiting for the perfect moment, bidding my time.

And, since time is of the essence of the piece, I guess I ought to be going. Time is money you, know.

So on that note: Beware! No, really though, be conscious of what you ask, where you ask it, what you say, and how you do it. But most importantly, be careful about when. Two minutes early could be the difference between a yes and a no. But one year late, could be just the answer you were looking for. So you should always being asking yourself this one thing:

Do you know what time it is?


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